What Do You Do When You Feel You Are Sitting on the Outside of Your Own Success?!

 

Image credit: Here.

 

 

Not long ago, I had a conversation with one of my long-standing coaching clients (Yes, I still coach…). She was a bit stressed and distraught about her recently failed business. She had put, as she described it “the last 15 years of my f*&king life” into what she had assumed would be her future and of course her lasting legacy.

 

Little did she know how a small microorganism and an incredibly topsy-turvy year would almost completely derail her entire life. How could she have placed so much of herself into this business she loved, for it to dissolve and ultimately collapse right before her very eyes? She was truly in a state of imaginable grief, the loss of her business was equal to that of the loss of a loved one.

 

Her grief and her pain most days was truly crippling. I asked her to sit for a moment inside her grief (which is NOT easy for most people to do…after all I am asking you to feel something that’s not comfortable at all), and I encouraged her to explore why it was that this particular loss was so impactful on her life. After about a week, I had her, while in session, revisit this uncomfortable task I had given her. And what she revealed was something I am sure many of us have felt as small and even large business owners a time or two.  

 

What she revealed was that all that she was feeling had been coming from feeling like she had totally and completely failed! A feeling of truth defeat where she was soooo close to achieving almost everything she had ever hoped for, but for some reason, and by no fault of her own... it was taken away from her. She felt as though she was still “sitting on the outside of my own success”.

 

I have recently thought about her words “feeling like I’m sitting on the outside of my own success “and I’ve thought to myself (on many occasions)  how I’ve felt the exact same way but could never fully express what I was feeling in words, but BAMM there you have it in words! Words that resonated within my very soul.

 

It made sense, you know how it goes, you work hard, you create something new, you market it , you pour love into your passion in to it , but nothing really manifests … or does it?

 

I, again, thought back upon my four failed businesses two photography and two coaching/consulting business I just knew would take off! But they never did, they never manifested past what they were… part-time distractions. I then thought about my current business and thought about my current pace.

 

Yes, it has been slow going, a bit frustrating at times, and most days I’m honestly not completely certain I’m as successful as I could be. But there is something very different about this time around. For one thing, I feel less apprehensive about the possibility that I might , again,  fail!  I mean I’ve failed so many times now what does it really matter at this point? As I see it, there is only one direction to go from here and that’s up! Right? Your damn right- RIGHT!

 

Additionally, I have also thought long and hard about what I didn’t know back then in comparison to ALL that I know now about myself, my business, my marketing strategies, the importance’s of connection and networking, and the like.  What I have come to know as my own truth is that 1) I have grown, and 2) I’ve accepted the fact that I’ve got a great deal more growing to do in order to be as successful as I can in anything in life that I choose to accomplish.

 

 Our businesses are not static in nature, nor should they ever be such, in fact, we are and should always be in a state of re-birthing our goals and our dreams. To be perfectly content with reaching only the goals you see for your business is in my view very self-limiting, the universe has many more goals for your successes. The trick is that you have to be open to them and not stuck fast to only what you have seen for yourself. In fact, as Luda would say…"move bitch get out the way"…of your own self that is.

 

The fact is this, we can and will fail 1000 times at many things in our lives, those failures, however, do not define who we are or serve as predictors of what’s to come of us later.

 

So, what do you do when you feel like you are sitting on the outside of your own success?

 

Simple, you embrace it, face it, feel it, and just keep f$&king going. There is no magic sauce of wisdom to any of this; you just keep going! Keep motivated, keep hustling, and keep yourself open to new directions of opportunity. Stop creating a place where you dwell in a place of self-limiting doubt! If you remain there and fully engaged in your pain, you’ll get exactly what you’re asking for … nothing!

 

Well, at least nothing of value or of great importance to your journey.

 

That’s it for me folks! It’s been a delightful vacation weekend of creating, writing, crying, laughing, and being happily siting just outside the boundaries of my pending successes!

 

 

Carol Hill Owner/Lead Happiness Ambassador

 Carol Hill is a mom, a long time nurse, certified professional  life and leadership development coach, a consultant, and Lead Happiness Ambassador and the owner/operator of Just Chill Custom Gifting By Carol. .

 

The Showroom North, Homer, NY 13077